Our Hell

~How To Alienate Yourself :: Talk About Babies
July 28, 2008, 12:08 am
Filed under: How To Alienate Yourself

Ways to accomplish this:

1. You are a new mother. Talk to your fellow lady friends (all unwed and kid-free) and discuss in great detail every aspect of your baby’s development.  Don’t forget to gush endlessly about how different and how womanly you feel.  Conversely, don’t forget to mention how worthless and lifeless and you feel now that another being is sucking vitamins out of your mammaries.

2. You are a new father.  Discuss anything with your guy friends other than how gross it was to see that come out of there.

3.  You are an unpartnered male or female.  The experience is different here based on your sex.  If female, you will look like a baby-starved man-eater.  If male, the authorities will be at your door in the morning.


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