Our Hell

~Today is the Day :: I Explain to You Why High-Waisted Pants Must Never Seriously Return
May 30, 2008, 12:03 am
Filed under: Today is the Day | Tags: , ,

In theory, high-waisted pants can be remotely attractive.







In practice, they result in a syndrome I like to call Boobs, Belt, Butt. Simply stated, all that is visible to me when I view a woman wearing high pants is this tiny middle region consisting of squished-in boobs a belt and butt, with other appendages somewhere in the nether regions.



The female form is beautiful for the gradual curve of the waist into the hips.  With these fabric monstrosities, their is no room for grey area.  There is only a sharp horizontal line bisecting the midsection in an ill-conceived apparel war.


Also, they remind me of moms.






Furthermore, they accentuate the aptly but terribly named area of a woman, the gunt.


In conclusion:


5 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Once again, you are wrong about everything. Have you seen Jane Birkin in waist highs? JERK!

Comment by Todd

Obviously, Jane Birkin in mini skirts trumps any memory of terrible navel-grazing slacks.


Comment by Melanie

Even Jane Birkin looked like she had a gunt in those jeans. These pants are a pox on fashion. They are the “rats thrown over walls from catapults to spread the black plague” of fashion.

Comment by Mayor McCheese

I agree with Melanie, despite my not being her.

Comment by Not Melanie

You have to have the body for it.
Which the rest of us get after a very expensive gym membership, you should try it.

Comment by You'reaGuntwithaC

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