Filed under: Thoughts That Were Better Than Your Thoughts | Tags: automaton, genius, NASA, old timey robot
“Leonardo’s robot refers to a humanoid automaton designed by Leonardo da Vinci around the year 1495.”
“The robot is a knight, clad in German-Italian medieval armour, that is apparently able to make several human-like motions. These motions included sitting up, moving its arms, neck, and an anatomically correct jaw.” (Wikipedia)
Filed under: Today is the Day
Well, to be fair, it’s not just today.
And even if I eventually succeed, I’ve already lost.
Filed under: How To Alienate Yourself | Tags: axe wound, dirty hands, thrust
“After ample consideration of the upward thrust we have just ridden, I think it would be inscrutable to take this company in a new and exciting direction. Inter-managerial relations are in the midst of an orgiastic flurry of reinvention and reassessment. We need to have all of our aces in the hole and all of our best men on the job. It’s time to solidify the investors’ desires and get anal about our technical development. We fixed up that axe wound from our last bust well, we just need to remember to cover our assets. The back-end approach we’ve been taking could be revamped and overhauled. We will be moving bilaterally, and urging all of you to hang on. It may be hard at first but if we all get our hands a little dirty and put our nose to the grindstone, I believe we can have at ‘er and see this through to the climax. After all, we don’t want to have egg on our face. We want to come out smiling.
Randy, I believe you wanted to give your oral presentation next?”
Filed under: When We Die | Tags: aerial malfunctions, bob hope, flat hot lady, hulk smash, old timey murder, pumpkin suicide
“No, Billy, it won’t hurt.”
Billy, here are the possible ways in which it would, in fact, hurt.
Filed under: On This Day in Old Timey Days | Tags: baseball, perfection, problems with me
:: July 21 . 1964 ::
Future baseball Hall-of-Famer and U.S. senator Jim Bunning pitches a perfect game for the Philadelphia Phillies, the first perfect game in the National League in 84 years.
Those who know me may not consider me a perfectionist as I normally have food in my hair, I often end my sentences in prepositions and I honestly don’t do much at all. But, in my imperfect little heart, I desire absolute compliance with my utopian ideals.
Knowing that perfection is not a logical or sustainable choice really does nothing to deter my unconscious.
Instead of beginning and succeeding at projects, I set my sights on the infallible end goal. Any failure on my part to live up to my expectations causes such projects to be forgotten.
Perfection only exists in math.
Filed under: Today is the Day | Tags: Heavy Blinkers, Jason MacIsaac, music you should like
The ever amazing Canadian orchestral pop band, the Heavy Blinkers, deserve lots and lots of attention. Unfortunately, their official page is down at the moment. In the meantime, I made a little site to serve the purpose.
I am still working on it but while you wait, there are myriad other Blinkers resources out there. You just need to hunt. In the meantime, you can also go buy their music or listen to a song or two:
The Heavy Blinkers – I Used To Be A Design
The Heavy Blinkers – Tribute To Sparrow
Filed under: Today is the Day
I wish all of my interactions could be typed. Or, at least etch-a-sketched.
A tribute to some fine miscommunications.
Christians Can’t say the Word Toilet
Don’t Make An Ass of You And Me
Filed under: On This Day in Old Timey Days | Tags: herrings, junk mail, stickers
:: June 10 . 2008 ::
The United States Patent Office issues the first patent for the window-pane envelope.
This time-saving device allowed mail-senders to omit costly and sticky mailing labels.
All of this extra glue-backed paper allowed enterprising businessmen to develop the much-loved and oft-misplaced sticker.
:: June 10 . 1977 ::
Man who aided in capture disagreed that one-pound fish could eat 6,000 goldfish.
Filed under: How To Alienate Yourself | Tags: Catholics, hippies, pocket mulching
Environmentalism is the new spirituality.
Compare and contrast:
“I’m not a religious person. I’m a spiritual person.”
“I’m not a hippie. I’m an environmentalist.”
Discuss:
Spirituality is the phenomenon whereby people profess to believe in a higher power, which can be connected with through any means possible. Methods may include meditation, chanting, fasting or feeding off of crystal energy.
Environmentalism is the phenomenon whereby people profess to believe in the positive change one person can make on the harmful impact of our species on our natural surroundings. Change can occur through recycling, composting, commuting and eating vegetables grown only on their apartment windowsills.
In both situations, disdain may be felt for people not currently in the same mindset. Spiritualists may scoff at Catholics, claiming that their concept of Hell is a doctrine of fear. Environmentalists may scoff at those who drive impractical vehicles, claiming that their concept of Western living is bringing about Hell on earth.
Practical Use:
Claim to be either one with great enthusiasm. Extra points go to those who claim to be both. Grand prize goes to those who claim to be both and evidence hypocrisy easily.
Filed under: On This Day in Old Timey Days | Tags: beatnik, howl, howling, poetry, wooden boxes full of things
:: June 03 . 1926 ::
Allen Ginsberg, renowned Beat poet, is born in New Jersey.
He will go on to write letters to The New York Times about political issues such as World War II and workers’ rights, meet William S. Burroughs and join NAMBLA as a “means of free speech.” Oh yeah, and he managed to write Howl, which was considered obscene for its time and ultimately helped to liberalize what could be published in the United States.
As a cause of this liberation, we were fortunate enough to be given such fine publications as Sex to Sexty, Dude, Where’s My Country? and Woody Allen: A Biography.
Howl, also inspired American composer, John Cage, to pen “Writing Through Howl”.
John Cage was a major source of the American arm of the Fluxus movement.
Fluxus boxes
and Yoko Ono
were both products that can be attributed to Cage.
Watch : Yoko Ono – New York Woman (…)
