Filed under: On This Day in Old Timey Days | Tags: joan of arc, leonard cohen, neil young, pyre, robot music, trans
:: May 30 . 1431 ::
Joan of Arc was burned at the stake.
The most notable result of this was Leonard Cohen’s song “Joan of Arc”. Hear it and be warm.
:: May 30 . 1997 ::
Neil Young canceled his European tour because he had cut his finger while slicing a ham sandwich.
Maybe he was remembering his personally regrettable but amazing album, Trans.
Fuck, I love “We R In Control”. Listen and control the flow of heat.
Listening to people explain how a movie has changed them is generally painful and uninteresting.
If this situation should happen to you, interject some of your own thoughts and begin to divulge how your world view has been shaped by a few movies and emphasize greatly how much everyone should see these works.
Suggestions for Movies to Ponder
- Wikipedia List of Films Considered the Worst (…)
- IMDB Bottom 100 (…)
- Rotten Tomatoes Worst of the Worst (…)
“I think perhaps The Waterboy is perfectly analogous to the way in which I was able to overcome anger issues and learn to resolve problems in a humane manner. I learned much of my dear respect for women from seeing Pretty Woman when I was twelve. Julia Robert’s character just opened my eyes to the true strength of a woman’s inner being. And I don’t know where I’d be today without the strong social message of Porky’s II.”
In theory, high-waisted pants can be remotely attractive.
In practice, they result in a syndrome I like to call Boobs, Belt, Butt. Simply stated, all that is visible to me when I view a woman wearing high pants is this tiny middle region consisting of squished-in boobs a belt and butt, with other appendages somewhere in the nether regions.
The female form is beautiful for the gradual curve of the waist into the hips. With these fabric monstrosities, their is no room for grey area. There is only a sharp horizontal line bisecting the midsection in an ill-conceived apparel war.
Also, they remind me of moms.
Furthermore, they accentuate the aptly but terribly named area of a woman, the gunt.
In conclusion:
When we die, sometimes we are cremated. Often, it becomes the dying wish of the dearly departed to have their remaining ashes scattered in the gentle breeze at dusk.
This gentle breeze most likely brings its contents away from the peaceful mountaintop and into the doors and windows of homes across our fine nation. There, tiny dust mites thrive and multiply without discretion from Uncle Joe’s arm hair mixed with your eyebrow skin.
These dust mites, like all good organisms, ingest and then expel waste product. New studies pinpoint these droppings as a major cause of Asthma in our children, who are more susceptible to it than their adult counterparts.
What this means:
“Yes Timmy, the reason you have laboured breathing is because Grammy decided she didn’t want to rest in a cheap ceramic urn for the rest of eternity.”
Filed under: On This Day in Old Timey Days | Tags: cannibalism, kittens, psychological problems, teeth
:: May 29, 1986 ::
During the 59th National Spelling Bee: Jon Pennington wins by spelling odontalgia.
Odontalgia:
A medical condition described as a state in which a tooth exudes great pain but no cause can be found.
Symptoms may be described as a continuous burning or aching pain in the tooth or the bone surrounding the tooth. Despite examination and even surgical procedures, nothing is medically wrong with the sufferer.
This condition has been ascribed to a few probable causes including psychological disorders, nerve damage and vascular problems.
What I Think:
Most likely this phenomenon is caused by psychological disorders caused by a patient’s deep desire to engage in cannibalistic rituals. It is a classic example of the ability of the brain to localize physical pain in the area most affected by suppressed thoughts.
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:: 10 :: (Ten)
Flux of Pink Indians (1980–1986)
Flux of Pink Indians were an anarcho-punk/post-punk band out of Britain. They were advocates of vegetarianism and pacifism.
Interesting Crass-Related Fact
- Their debut EP Neu Smell was released on Crass Records in 1981.
Name
Their name shortened to Flux in 1986 and released Uncarved Block, which used percussion-heavy dance and funk based rhythms. The Tao of Pooh was a major influence.
Listen
Flux of Pink Indians – Background of Malfunction (…)
“Jesus, is religion really true or is it just another tool used to control and manipulate the things we do?”
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:: 9 :: (Nine)
Minor Threat (1980–1983)
Minor Threat were an American hardcore punk band. They are most notable for beginning the straight-edge movement within punk.
Interesting Crass-Related Fact
- Ian MacKaye, Minor Threat’s frontman, considers John Loder, founder of Southern Records, a mentor and an inspiration. Loder’s recording facility was used by Crass for the album Feeding of the 5000 and Loder and Penny Rimbaud, a key Crass member, were good friends. Southern Records also went on to form a partnership with Dischord Records, Minor Threat’s label.
Logo
Their logo was used by Nike. After threats from the band, Nike issued an apology and all hard copies they had access to were destroyed.
Listen
Minor Threat – Good Guys (Don’t Wear White) (…)
“Never want to use a crutch.”
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:: 8 :: (Eight)
Conflict (1981 – Present)
Conflict were active in the later stages of British anarcho-punk.
Interesting Crass-Related Fact
- Their first release was on Crass Records. Steve Ignorant, a member of Crass, collaborated with Conflict on their animal rights release To A Nation of Animal Lovers. After 1983, Steve became a semi-permanent singer with the band.
Logo
Their logo uses two ‘A’s for anarchy and autonomy, and an ‘N’ for nihilism.
Listen
Conflict – The Ungovernable Force (…)
“We said, “fuck off” smarmy popstar shits portraying images of a perfect world.”
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:: 7 :: (Seven)
Zounds (1977-1982/2001-Present)
Zounds were part of the early British anarchist movement. They were also proponents of free festival and squatting culture.
Interesting Crass-Related Fact
- They first met members of Crass when their van broke down and they were brought back to Dial House. They later released their first EP, Can’t Cheat Karma, on Crass Records.
Name
“Zounds” was chosen from the Bible. It is a slang term derived from “God’s wounds” and was formerly used as a mildly blasphemous oath.
Listen
Zounds – Demystification (…)
“You’ve got the potential to disobey.”
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:: 6 :: (Six)
Bad Brains (1977–1984/1986–1995/1997–Present)
The Bad Brains were an American hardcore band. The members were devout Rastafarians and included a mix of metal and reggae in their music.
Interesting Crass-Related Fact
- It’s rumored that former lead singer, H.R., could be quite crass. But then he stopped doing crack.
Name
The Beasties Boys were so influenced by the Bad Brains that they reportedly based their name from the double “B” initals.
Listen
Bad Brains – Re-Ignition (…)
” In the quest for the test to fulfill an achievement
everybody’s only loaded just to shoot themselves.”
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:: 5 :: (Five)
Subhumans (1980–1987/1998/2004–Present)
The Subhumans were an anarcho-punk band formed in England.
Interesting Crass-Related Fact
- Pretty much the entire anarcho-punk movement is directly attributable to Crass’ influence. Also, John Loder, owner of Southern Records, was good friends with Dick Lucas, Subhumans frontman, and the band also used his studio for album recording.
Logo
“Why do you use SS-s in your logo?
-It’s not SS as a ‘logo’, that’s rediculous! It’s just coincidence, we didn’t think of it like that – we’re obviously not nazis.”Listen
Subhumans – Religious Wars (…)
“In the name of God they left you to die.”
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:: 4 :: (Four)
Black Flag (1976-1986/2003)
Black Flag are widely considered the first hardcore punk band. This American band was for a time fronted by the infamous (and hot) Henry Rollins.
Interesting Crass-Related Fact
- “What does Rollins think of UK bands like the overtly political CRASS?
- Personally I always like Crass as a cool concept and the music kind of bored me. You know, nnmmmm, nnmmmm, with a guy spieling over the top of it. You listen to it once, but can you put it in a car stereo – no! “
Logo
“If a white flag means surrender, a black flag represents anarchy.”
Listen
Black Flag – Gimme Gimme Gimme (…)
“I find satisfaction in what they lack.”
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:: 3 :: (Three)
Aus Rotten (1992-2001)
Aus Rotten were a later arriving American hardcore band with strong anarcho-punk/crust punk tendencies.
Interesting Crass-Related Fact
- Aus Rotten and Crass both hold the honor of being in the top five for longest punk songs in history.
NameListen“As long as flags fly above us, no one’s really free.”
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:: 2 :: (Two)
Dead Kennedys (1978-1986)
The Dead Kennedys were an American hardcore band. The current incarnation, sans Jello Biafra, does not count.
Interesting Crass-Related Fact
“I didn’t agree with the hard line Crass or MDC took over the years, but it helped me decide what line I wanted to take instead.” – Jello Biafra
Name
Due to the band’s provocative name, they sometimes played under pseudonyms, including “The Sharks”, “The Creamsicles” and “The Pink Twinkies“.
Listen
Dead Kennedys – Kill The Poor (…)
“Force feed you mind-melting chemicals til even the outside world looks great.”
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:: 1 :: (One)
Crass (1977-1984)
Crass were perhaps the most influential anarchist punk bands. There is so much to be said.
Interesting Crass-Related Fact
Crass’ music was heavily influenced by American experimental composer John Cage.
Logo
Always intent on the visual aspect of their work, the logo was a mixture of the Christian cross, the swastika and the Union Flag, combined with the Ouroboros.
Listen
Crass – So What (…)
“In all your decadence, people die.”
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::: Honorable Mentions :::
